Remember that time I felt really cool because I taught myself to ride my sketchy bike with no hands? Well today, while commuting on that sketchy bike I passed a man on a fucking unicycle.
I guess I can laugh about it now, but at the time, all I could think is how Boulder is like that friend who’s constantly one-upping you. A few exemplar scenarios are outlined below:
You: I sure do love climbing.
Person from Boulder: I climb V-13s barefoot. Actually, I recently climbed Everest, also barefoot.….
You: Think I can recycle this coffee cup?
Person from Boulder: Um, that’s made of 100% biodegradable corn oil. We just built our own composter in the backyard and we’re developing a mail-order vermiculture business. We’re going to use the profits to subsidize yurts to house children displaced by the Haitian earthquake.
You: Vermiculture?….You: I just filled out my commuter survey for CU. I felt super cool because ever since I got a bike, I’ve been riding to school every day and I got to put that in my survey!
Person from Boulder: I ride a unicycle. Uphill, both ways.
You: [stony silence] You’re a dick, and I’m going to write about it on the internet.
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